Infusion in South Hobart

Food reviewer Graeme Phillips said "it’s all casual, friendly, professional and truly excellent".

We say "it is crap".

Our table of 12 was the only one occupied and yet we had to wait an hour for our not-at-all complicated meals (basically eggs, bacon and toast all round) which were bland and cooling by the time they were delivered. Stunningly each plate arrived at five minute intervals, so no one ate at the same time!

The two waitresses attended the table once, when we first sat down, to provide coffee, then disappeared.. avoiding all eye contact.

I'd be ashamed to work there too. Infusion should be put out of its misery.

Another doozy

I heard some jaw dropping feedback from a large reservation at a North Hobart pub last week.

Apparently the group ordered at the bar and waited yonks for meals to come out. When the waitress turned up with a couple of plates, they weren't what was ordered but, instead of finding the right table, she plonked them down and suggested the diners sort it out. The food sat there cooling for five minutes until a neighbouring table wandered over to claim their meals.

It's like musical plates!

Room to eat

It's taken some pondering but I've finally pinned down the connection between three recent, disparate meals. It's all about the room.. or lack of it. Actually it's about poorly thought out room.

I have a passing interest in design but am nowhere near an expert, let alone qualified to comment, but it's interesting how an eating experience can be altered by the kitchen/bar/stairs in the wrong spot.

Take Francisco's: It's a buzzing restaurant with attentive service and FANTASTIC food. I'm still thinking about the creamy, smokey paella stuffed with calamari, king prawns, mussels, fish, chicken and other tasty morsels. The blokes at our table (and how unusual to see men in an almost identical pink/purple striped shirt, nice one) feasted on a seafood platter with the crunchiest whitebait..mmmm. Being in Battery Point, you expect space to be at a premium but how ridiculous to have the bar/service area dominating the middle of the room, forcing some of the tables too close together. Surely it would be better tucked away in a corner near the kitchen?

And Sugo (Salamanca Square) has the same problem but fewer excuses. It was tailor-made with the loooongest concrete service block down the centre of the cafe. It's a monolith perched across the brightest part of the room so, if the place is busy and you really want to sit, you get stuck at a table in the gloom near the toilet door. Why, oh why didn't they build the service area across the backwall and leave the prime floor space to more tables? Luckily the $16,000 coffee machine does takeaway.

More worrying is the set-up at Pigeon Hole (Goulburn Street). The food and feel are very Melbourne laneway, the coffee is good (especially as they're using Merlo - pah), and the locally-made nougat is UNBELIEVABLY divine but the tiny kitchen sits in the middle of one wall, which creates a seating nightmare. A couple of tables are in the dark against the beautifully wallpapered rear wall (also opposite the toilet door) but you have to squint because of the glare from the front window. More two-person tables run down the corridor beside the kitchen and in front of the lone window there's just one high table with two uncomfortable stools. It's a shame because the staff is sweet, the small menu is interesting and the decoration is really quirky but the layout gets in the way of rushing back with lots of friends. (And there's sod all parking nearby.)

So, space is a distraction. Is it the be-all? Maybe not. But it certainly influences my mental list-making. Francisco's food outweighs the environmental glitches; Sugo is more an outdoor venue; Pigeon Hole should consider expanding into the empty shop next door.

Apologies & excuses

It's been too many months, and many more meals, since my last post so a quick wrap of some of the menus that have passed my way since September..

As Onba was the last post I'll return there first.. last night we had a quick bite to eat and enjoyed the "tapas", which is more meal than bite-sized. I had a sweet, zingy, tomatoey gnocchi and a cider soaked chorizo dish. The gnocchi was delicious, fluffy and plump. I can't really rate the chorizo as there was only one slice among the beans in the pot. I pointed that out to the waiter who was most apologetic. Speaking of waiters.. Onba's are friendly and attentive, and kept the Cosmos flowing! The meal was very filling and the atmosphere is like a busy, dimly lit lounge room. In all a lovely relaxed time that cost about $50 for two cocktails and two dishes.

The absolute highlight of recent dining has been Marque IV. I arrived a little sceptical about all the rave reviews but I was blown away by the 6 course tasting menu. A dazzling array of flavours, styles and presentation complemented by discreet, knowledgeable service. Each plate was eye catching and, two hours later, we were all stuffed to the gills! The night cost about $150 per head but is worth every shekel.

I've got a love/hate relationship with The Bund in Shanghai. Love: food, quirky service, reasonable prices. Hate: MSG. I've been twice in recent months and each time has left me dry-mouthed and suffering terrible sleep. Yes, it's their choice to use chemical flavouring but a) they should note it on the menu and b) offer options without.

Still at the posh end of the street - Monty's on Montpelier has had much good press but I found it a bit undercooked. Nat Starkey runs a tight ship but I found the service intrusive and we sat at a wobbly table for two in the doorway, which did nothing to enhance my appetite. I confess to being extremely tired on the night but my upsized entree of fried gnocchi didn't appear to have any flavour. Dessert of crepes suzette was also bland. My partner loved his venison shank though so I reckon we'll give it another try and request a better table.

My current breakfast favourite is Salt in Moonah. It's so easy to get to, park and find a table, add great food and bewt coffee (oddly better than it's sister-store Dukkah), as well as room for kids to roam and you've got a winner.

Enjoyed in brief: Tricycle breakfast, Sugo coffee (new owners do the BEST short black), the Fish Bar in North Hobart (good value), bento boxes from Yume.

So much more to recall but I can't overlook the chocolate fudge slice from Zeps Cafe at Campbell Town and I'd like to farewell Express Cafe at New Town.. I'm sure we'll soon see Steve and Bec rise from the angst with an exciting new venture.

Onba a little off kilter..

Popped into the newly opened Onba, opposite the Republic Bar in North Hobart, for a quick coffee and a luscious chocolate brownie. Both very good and just the right temperature, so we decided to return for Saturday breakfast.

Our group settled in on the vast, comfy couches upstairs then moved into the small dining room to eat, which was a mistake as the hard floors and walls amplified every word.. and we share a lot of words!

The breakfast menu ($10-15) is a mouthwatering read and offers so many temptations but our group was underwhelmed with the real thing. One person loved the cassoulet but my omelette was more like a solid round of scrambled egg. Another friend's toast was overcooked and hard, and the scrambled eggs + trout was watery. Although our food came out in dribs and drabs, the service was friendly and attentive.

It's great to see another cafe in this precinct, especially one with a bit of style. They've obviously put plenty of time into the layout and furnishings. Personally, I'd add some colour or art to the walls and give the concrete floor a polish. I would also reconsider placing a long table in front of the entry.. it makes getting inside a bit tricky and I wouldn't like to try with a pram or wheelchair.

As it's only new, and the owners are working on a list of things-we-forgot-to-buy, I'll give Onba another whirl and hope the kitchen fires up.

Onba
FOOD 4
SERVICE 7
ATMOS 6

Fantastic food..

The only spoiler at The Bund in Shanghai (Sandy Bay) is the Kenny G soundtrack.
That aside, the food is scrumptious and the service quick and discreet.

We feasted on subtle pork dumplings, crunchy duck pancakes, spicy salt and pepper squid, chicken stir fry, and an amazing duck special with pumpkin and lychees.

All the dishes were beautifully presented and we wolfed them down.

It's a big restaurant, so you don't feel crowded. The staff were busy but attentive and I wish we could've stayed longer (toddlers have very short attention spans!). Our bill was $130 for four (and we were stuffed).

Change the music, add some Chinese beer to the menu and it'd be perfect.

The Bund in Shanghai
Food 9/10
Atmos 7/10
Service 8/10

I don't mean to sound like an advertisement but..

Sensational spicy, meaty, red duck curry.

Pungent, zesty chicken chilli cashew stir fry.

Plump, creamy noodles with crisp colourful veggies, gingery fish and tangy sauce.

Welcome to Darjoh's at Bellerive. It's friendly, prompt, generous, well priced and bloody delicious. (Eat in BYO or takeaway.)

An all round 8/10!

The worst meal I can recall..

We went to Golden Harbour in Hunter Street, Hobart on the recommendation of a couple of blogs and the Mercury's reviewer.

Big mistake.

The service was lacking but the food was entirely DREADFUL.

All our entrees were fried and tasteless; do they really think we don't know the difference between reconstituted squid and calamari?

The mains ($28 each) came out plate by plate and consisted mainly of oil.
The pork was a wet battered mess, the tiny chicken pieces were oversauced and outnumbered by cashews, the eggplant was drowning in canola oil (and made me gag), the scallops were chewy and the fish.. well it could've been anything. The only edible part of the meal was the rice (with peas and bacon bits).

I can only wonder if the Golden Harbour has changed hands since the glowing reviews I read? Or maybe they couldn't cope with two large groups?

My recommendation: save your money.